Pathlight : Changing and Changes
Alice’s quote above is an interesting twist on the subject of change. We change our clothing every morning; we change our hairstyles, buy new cars or furniture, even get new jobs and move new places. I’m sure I’ve changed several times in dramatic ways throughout my life.
But have I really changed as a person?
Author of Pathlight; Annie Wenger-Nabigon, MSW, RSW
Several times since being born I’ve passed significant milestones; learning to walk, talk and use the washroom; learning to read and write; learning manners and social skills; learning how to get up, dress up and show up! All of this learning has stretched and deepened my identity in ways I’m probably not fully aware of, yet I know that change is difficult. Sometimes it can be experienced as progress and sometimes it just seems like a threat. For example, if I change how I handle my trash responsibly, and just toss it out the door, I’m likely to have unwelcome animal visitors!
I think I’m really ready for the change from winter to spring. This winter has been a hard one and given us all a taste of “cabin fever”. Even trips to warmer climates have done little more than tease us. It’s right back to the snow and ice, and we are all ready for spring flowers and warm showers instead of winter’s storms. Yet we know if spring comes in too quickly all that melting snow is going to go somewhere fast, which could mean flooding, and roads washed out, and trees toppled. Change can be hard!
Changing things about ourselves as a person can be just as hard as transitioning from winter to spring. Learning how to be a human being is not for wimps, as my husband often says. It is hard to stretch ourselves, take risks, and stop doing things we are used to doing, or start doing new things we’ve never done before. Some of the hardest changes human beings can ever make are the “inside jobs” of working on our personalities. Sometimes things happen suddenly that force change upon us, such as an accident that causes death or injuries that can’t heal. Perhaps we’ve had the experience of losing a job – that’s a tough pill to swallow. Sometimes we just aren’t ready to accept change. We’re stuck!
I like to think of change as an opportunity. When each new season of the year rolls around it is a new opportunity to do things I couldn’t do in the previous season. In winter I can take my dog out for a run with the new kick sled. I can’t do that in spring, but I can start to work in my yard and garden. In winter I can’t take out my kayak like I can when there is no ice, but I can go for a walk in the snow and listen to the sounds of the forest which sound different in the winter. It’s all good – just different.
Opportunities for change are always with us. Sometimes the opportunity feels too overwhelming, such as when we have to make a change in our way of eating or living in order to preserve our physical life. Right now the whole world is facing climate change, and soon people will have to deal with the realities of a world with less material wealth. I say soon but that is a relative term. In light of the long stretch of time humans have been around it is merely a short flicker of time. A hundred years is a very short time compared to a million years. The big changes ahead seem gradual now, but what humans do in the here-and-now will have a huge impact on how things are in the world 200 or 2000 years down the road.
That’s a lot to think about. It’s easier to pretend these changes aren’t real, or that we can ignore them. When I was young it was easy to think I could eat whatever food I wanted. Now that I am older I have to realize that the effect of eating that way has created medical conditions I now have to pay attention to. I can’t ignore the signs of the present; I have to deal with the reality of the future. It’s a very sobering thought, but the good thing is that when I have information I have power.
Change is a powerful thing. When I intentionally work to create positive changes I feel empowered, strong, happy, capable, generous, and hopeful. When I give up and act as if I were a victim I lose all those good feelings, and lose my opportunity for a life with vitality. Intentional change means actively deciding to do something for a reason. Good intention leads to good action which leads to good change. This is what brings the good life!
Change = growth. Sometimes that comes with pain, with difficulty, and with loss. When we are afraid of change it simply means we are fearful of losing something important to us, or we are not willing to accept that a change has taken place. It’s like a baby learning to walk – she has to let go of the hand which holds her safely and risk taking steps on her own. How exciting! It is thrilling for parents to watch their baby learn to walk but it’s scary, too. New walkers fall down, get hurt, and learn to get up again, and eventually they are out there in the world, living life on their own, if all goes well. Children need safety and help with the hurts in order to walk on their own. Then they can handle the risks of change and growth.
Sometimes life teaches us that we have to walk in a new way. No matter what our age we learn to take new steps on unfamiliar paths, create new growth in our lives, and stretch ourselves to where we never thought we could go. We can learn to express feelings in new ways, learn new skills in relationships, learn to let go of problems, and always learn to value life in new ways. We can learn to change and let go of old ways that no longer work for us. We don’t have to judge it – just change it.
This is the true power of change – it is life giving. It is inspiring and hopeful. It is necessary for life to continue. The most powerful change is when we change ourselves.
Happy changes ahead!
Annie Wenger-Nabigon, MSW, RSW
Pathlight@OntarioNewsNorth.com
ANNIE RECOMMENDS:
- The Hollow Tree by Herb Nabigon
- EldersTeachings.blogspot.com
- Pathlight: Journey to a Good Life archives
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*Health themed columns found on OntarioNewsNorth.com provide general information about medical conditions and treatments. The information is not advice, and should not be treated as such. If you have any specific questions about any mental health or other medical matter, please consult your family physician, primary health care team or other professional healthcare provider.Opinions and information contained in any column on OntarioNewsNorth.com are not intended to replace medical advice from your doctor or other professional health care provider. If you feel you are suffering from a mental or physical health issue, you should seek medical attention immediately. The information shared in this column or anywhere on OntarioNewsNorth.com does not constitute medical advice nor should any person delay seeking, disregard or discontinue medical treatment because of information contained in PATHLIGHT: Journey to a Good Life or on OntarioNewsNorth.com. The opinions provided by contributors on OntarioNewsNorth.com do not necessarily reflect those of OntarioNewsNorth.com its advertisers or other contributors on the site.
