PATHLIGHT: What You Make It

Written by Annie Wenger-Nabigon Ph.D., RSW on 07 July 2013

Originally from the U.S., Annie earned her Canadian Citizenship in 2013. Annie & her Husband live in Pic River First Nation. She works as full-time as an Adult Mental Health and Addictions Therapist at the Marathon office of North of Superior Counseling Programs. Annie Wenger-Nabigon, MSW, RSW has been a cinical social worker since 1979 working in mental health, family therapy, and addictions services. She is a doctoral candidate at Laurentian University in Sudbury, ON. Annie also works part-time as a consultant for LYNX, owned by her husband Herb Nabigon, MSW. Herb provides traditional Anishnabek teachings and healing workshops for both Native and non-Native organizations. Together he and Annie provide training and education to professionals on a wide range of topics blending mainstream and traditional approaches in healing. They also provide cultural safety and anti-racism training. Do you have questions re: mental health, living a good life, relationships, etc. ?Annie would love to hear them and may even include your questions in a future column (published by-monthly exclusively on OntarioNewsNorth.com) Send your comments or questions to Annie via email to Pathlight@OntarioNewsNorth.com

Author of Pathlight; Annie Wenger-Nabigon, MSW, RSW

A Facebook friend who lives thousands of miles away, whom I have never met but know through friends, posted this quote today:

“If you are not willing to do whatever it takes to create your life, wouldn’t it make sense that you won’t have the life you’d really like to have?” Access Consciousness, by Dain Heer

What a serendipitous quote! I had just been thinking about how we create our own realities when I saw this quote. There was a time when I could not imagine how it was possible to create our own life. I believed that things just happened to people, beyond their control, and it was only by luck that good things came about. I believed the myth that when bad things happened to me it was either my fault or someone else’s fault. That is “victim think”, but I didn’t know it – I just believed what I had learned in my life up to that point.

I guess, though, that there is a lot of truth to the fact that if you want to have a good life, you are responsible for creating it, because I was never content to sit and be a victim. Something inside of me drove me to search out the real truth and discover the what, where, how, and when of things that made life better than what I thought I had.

The paradox was that I discovered I already knew what I needed to know to make life good. I knew what kind of choices I needed to make to get off the “pity pot” and move forward. Something inside of me let me know when I was out of balance, when my thinking was a bit distorted and taking me down the wrong road, and when I needed to make different choices. When I acted on those better choices, the life I wanted started to come to me. Sometimes we have to give up what we don’t want in order to get what we do want.

I have discovered that the principles of “right thought, right action” are the key to the good life.

Whenever I indulge myself in wallowing in “stinking thinking” I discover all over again that I can be my own worst enemy, my own worst critic, and the creator of my own victimology! What that shows me is that every day I have an opportunity to practice making the necessary choices that will bring me the life I want to have.

There are days when old emotional patterns based in fear, or old hurts and resentments, or feelings of inferiority can jump up and twist my brain right back into old negative beliefs, and then the dysfunctional actions take over and before I realize it, I have to eat some “humble pie”, apologize (to myself and others), and accept that I am simply human. Life isn’t simple, usually. It’s a bit complicated. But it is a lot easier when we can quickly notice how we are getting off track. Then we can talk to someone about it and take responsibility for getting ourselves onto a better track, and move on with a loving and cheerful heart. It’s ok – we’re all human,

Take some time today to ease up on demanding life go your way, and get busy making your life! Soon things will begin to go the way you want them to go because you are in the driver’s seat, not your or anyone else’s poor choices. You have everything you need to act on your finest and best choices – no one is stopping you, even if you have to pay what seems a big price. You are in charge of your choices, and it won’t always be easy, but it will be what you make it.

Here is a quote from one of my favorite poets’, Rumi:

“If you want heaven
stop scattering thorns on the road.”

Hope you have a great week, and for those who think about it – drop me a line and suggest a topic you’d like to see me write about. I’m waiting for those letters!

Annie Wenger-Nabigon, MSW, RSW
Pathlight@OntarioNewsNorth.com

ANNIE RECOMMENDS:

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*Health themed columns found on OntarioNewsNorth.com provide general information about medical conditions and treatments. The information is not advice, and should not be treated as such. If you have any specific questions about any mental health or other medical matter, please consult your family physician, primary health care team or other professional healthcare provider.

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