Living with MS – bite the bullet
Well, I’ve put off giving myself my B12 shot long enough! First I realized I had picked up the wrong needles from the pharmacy, they were subcutaneous (and quite small being insulin needles) rather than IM (intra-muscular) but I could have probably returned the very next day to get the right ones and did not.
Yesterday, Vickie had driven me for my pain meds at the hospital (I am so angry now about going there. I always knew it was unessecary and have been asking since JANUARY to have another option such as a pump but then to see that pharmacies carry morphine for injections as regular practice AND that it’s covered through my drug plan, while so many of the trial meds that my doctor has insisted on are not – it only cost me $2 for the prescription in Marathon then having seen a doctor, who believed patients should have a life in action…well, it’s all just starting to snowball)
and so afterwards, I asked her if we could go by the pharmacy (translation: do you mind running into the pharmacy for me?) and she Vickie did not mind. I got the IM needles I needed and came home feeling quite nervous about what lay ahead.
Preparation. I look over the instructions again, there seems to be nothing new and might be more of a stalling technique than a precaution.
IM or Intra-muscular injections must be given where there is a big muscle; your upper arm, your leg or buttocks. I have watched the nurses give me so many (hundreds) and yet it is not the same as doing it yourself. I also went to the clinic for my 1st injection, we are lucky to have a nurse that works there for things like that and I was able to have her show me how it was done. I gave myself subcutaneous needles for a couple years when I was taking Copaxone, a disease-modifying drug believed to reduce the occurence of relapses in MS patients with relapsing-remitting MS but discontinued last fall with my doctors ok as it does not seem to affect my illness.
I washed my hands before beginning and now wipe my arm down with an alchohol swab.
I always admired children with diabetes who learn to inject themselves. When I was in elementary school there was a boy, I think his name was Vince Donahue, who was diabetic and on a school outing had given himself insulin while on the bus and that image had stuck with me and was what I used to get the nerve to do my copaxone injections. I am a fiercly independant person and was not going to be dependant on others to do my injections – Emeraude’s Dad, Daniel, was the 1st however to inject me and did so for a couple days when I started the copaxone…It was enough to help me acclimatize to the situation and since then I did it myself. SOOOO, I would be able to do the B12 shots as well, especially since I had decided on getting them every 2 weeks; there was no way I would be dependant on going to the clinic every 2 weeks.
and it's done. I had been advised by one of the nurses to ensure I stuck the needle in deep enough. When I poked, I drew back on the needle to make sure I wasn't in a vein and then began injecting the B12.
Saying all that sounds great but it took until yesterday for me to get fed up with the fatigue that has once again become all-encompassing, I’ve been falling asleep while trying to type articles or letters to doctors (I am trying to put together a thank you for the Marathon doctor & Jordan,R.N.) and only managing on about 7 good hours a day (good hours means able to type and 7 includes however many hours are spent back & forth to the emerg) and that just isn’t acceptable when a simple injection could improve the situation. Desperation can make humans do incredible things. Now I’m not trying to say I’m incredible for managing an injection but, well, for me it was kind of incredible. Definetely something I would have never imagined doing. Just 6 years ago I still preferred to have someone along to hold my hand if I was having blood drawn as I had a serious fear of needles.
So, I ask Lloyd to grab the camera as I wipe down the kitchen counter and wash my hands. This is it, I must do what I can to improve my situation and if that includes yet another injection, than that’s just what I’ll do. Time to “Bite the bullet” as they say, and at this moment I’m almost wishing I had a bullet to bite because I’m chewing the inside of my cheek to keep from showing Lloyd how nervous I am. He is quite uncomfortable with needles himself, when Emeraude would be up on my bed asking to help with the Copaxone injections, eyes wide to learn all she could for some day when she will become a veterinarian, Lloyd would politely excuse himself from the room and ask that I let him know when it was over, so that he is sweet enough to take photos is a big deal for him and I don’t want him to have the anxiety of knowing I’m not exactly confident about the situation myself.
That’s it! I was done and it had all gone according to the instructions. I am proud of myself for climbing yet another mountain that I had not anticipated ever needing to face. It’s no big deal and I feel confident that in two weeks, I will be going through it as if it were something I have been doing all my life.
This is a prescription written by my family doctor. Before taking B12 or any other medications or supplements TALK to your family doctor!
Information about B12 supplementation through this post: http://www.karinahunter.com/?p=3604 .
