May30
Another very long day, in the back of my head at all times is White Lake and how I will deal with being unable to go if that nightmare actually materializes.
Emeraude’s birthday was wonderful. 4 years old already. I can’t say that I can’t believe it as I worked hard to enjoy every moment of it and so have many fond memories of her ‘babyhood’. It does feel like I should have been more confident by now with where my health is at and my goal to homeschool her. It is, I guess, a situation very similar to White Lake; constantly on my mind. The subcutaneous dilaudid pump OBVIOUSLY should have been put in sometime around late february, I have lost so many months, so many oportunities with my children, so many opportunities for work, all for nothing – with no good excuse nd it makes me terribly angry (something I rarely am for more than a few minutes and so very difficult on me & a great detriment to my health).
Thursday was cake with family to celebrate Emeraude. A day early as Lloyd would be leaving the next day on his fishing trip with men from church (Bethany Pentacostal) and we couldn’t possibly celebrate her birthday without him!
it’s midnight and I must go to the hospital for an injection as I am in a great deal of pain and only a 1/2 hour from being able to receive more meds. Hopefully I will continue on this when I return but I am also trying to put together a submission for the Chronicle about this wekend Beach Volleyball fundraising tourney…
