MS.Jan.26.09
I’ve fallen ridiculously behind on my blogging. My days seem to blend in to each other as it has been necessary for at least a month now that I go to the hospital every day (sometimes even two or three times in a day) for injections for pain meds. I am incredibly fatigued and feel like if I am not laying down, I am wondering when I will find the time to, always wishing to get some energy that never seems to come.
On the up side, Dr.Crawford should be home within the next 5 days or so. I am hopeful still (in spite of hateful, discouraging comments from the locum that has been replacing him) that he will help me find options for treatments that could be helpful in reducing the symptoms that have not let up since before my uncessful solumedrol treatment at the beginning of the month.
Daniel, the past two weekends has come through for Emeraude which has helped more than I can say. Mostly because if I feel the kids are getting everything they need I am less discouraged and so have more left in me to fight against the pain and fatigue.
Adding to the frustration is the unbelievable amount of money I’ve had to spend on taxis as the nurses (following hospital protocol) must insist on my taking taxis after my injections (although the same meds that I have to take orally simply warn to measure your reaction and be careful) regardless of the fact that they do not cause me any diziness or drowsiness (the only one that ever has is gravol and I do not take it for exactly that reason).
This past week the locum took it upon himself to change the standing order for my pain meds to every 6-8 hours (from every 4) which is without any reason as any relief I feel from the pain receeds after about 3 hours and he has made no effort to find treatment options that would change my situation… This means that the injections are that much less effective as by the time I am able to go in (without harrassment from him) the pain is so intense they are much more difficult to treat.
I LOVE playing with the kids, skiing, sliding, skating, etc… The past two weekends I was able to ski less and less. This Saturday I managed for about 50 minutes and never felt confident enough about my pain tolerance to go up to the big hill (although Emeraude and I explored a little trail on the beginner’s hill to make the best of it and did it ever! it was really fun and we will certainly take the trail again sometime) and did not go at all on Sunday. That is most discouraging. When I cannot be the Mom I want to be and have to compromise the level of activity I usually enjoy with the kids. Lloyd has been pretty good the last few days about not adding to my stress at all which I appreciate alot (he’s in exams and I think has alot of his own stress to deal with from these).
5 more days and then there will be options. I have been able to put a bit of time towards both my writing and the research/preparation I had wanted to do in regards to finding a publisher for a series of children’s books I have been working on for some time which is encouraging as my taxi spending has to be compensated for somehow. I have not yet made the necessary calls to replace Lloyd’s snowmobile key I lost (when I had revoked his driving priveledges 2 weeks ago due to his attitude and some white lies about school work) and am hoping to address that tomorrow and continue my efforts in regards to finding a publisher. I have not managed to send Nonnie Keri her Christmas surprise & recent letter either and that is discouraging but I am hoping by the end of the week. Things pile up so quick when I am not well…
