MS.Jan.09 Continuing to digress
Well, Dr.Habud has not communicated with any neurologist, convinced that he must speak to Dr.Brown (in spite of my explaining to him that he only visits thunder bay on occasion and that I have not even spoken with him in at least 8 months – probably more)… One of the nurses sat in as I tried to communicate with him today, I appreciated having her there but it didn’t seem to prompt him to listen at all so I continue to wait, wondering how long this is suppose to carry on for. Absolutely ridiculous. Even once a treatment is decided upon, it will have to be ordered, than received, this is absolutely disheartening.
Meanwhile of course the dilaudid is becoming less effective and then he is certain to complain of needing to increase it (despite the fact that doing nothing would obviously result in exactly this situation). I feel like I’m talking to a wall trying to explain anything to Dr.Habud, he clearly has the feeling that I am a complete idiot, passing comment and judgement on the most trivial issues and stupidest facts – he actually made the comment that “well being more tired is MS more than having pain is” WHAT???? OH MY GOODNESS I could have exploded right there. Is this 2009 or 1932??????
To say the situation is becoming depressing is too much of an understatement. He also pointed out that I was “in pain like last time” HELLO???? Yeah, they haven’t found a cure for MS – is that a newsflash??? He seems to be making diagnosis and decisions based on perhaps one out of every 5000 words heard and I could scream. I am using a stupid walker 80% of the time (I appreciate having it but should not need it and so it is just madening), it doesn’t fit well in the house and at times seems more exhausting than hobelling around. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN that a doctor can be so damned ignorant as to what is going on. He is taking it upon himself to presume many things and make comments with an air of superiority in his voice and I can’t help but wish I had the time/energy to clue him in but can see quite clearly he’s one of these doctors who couldn’t possibly understand they are human or capable of error.
I really, really can’t live (if you want to call it that at this point) like this until Dr.Crawford’s return. I want my life back. It is so disgusting that I am expected to call this ok (I am so fatigued, just managing meals & basics and the pain… well, it certainly does it’s part to have me feeling lost for hope).
